Chained

If painting the chains around my neck gold set me free,
Then color me confused.
This whole time I've been trying to break loose.
And If I was wrong may we all get these chains that I thought was a noose
And I'll paint them all platinum for making things obtuse

But if I was right,
These issues need addressing.
Because in no way, shape, or form
Is this slavery a blessing

Way Back When (collaboration with Ali "M52" Bakhit)

I’m calm
But I’m overjoyed and I’m pissed off at the same time
So many changes and rearrangements
All out of my control, No referee
Some brothers were clear and now are fuzzier than Tex Avery
And I don’t which is the cause,
Is it the drugs, sex, alcohol, or the pressure of society?
Maybe it was the peer pressure
But peer pressure is only pressure if they shake the can
In many cases, shaking the can means they’ll have to shake the man
And in that case, please try to shake me, man
Because if that’s the case
Then their loved ones weren't at heart
And those are decisions that set you and your loved ones apart
And all I can do is watch out for me
And play the role I have in raising my family
And doing so showed me who’s closest and kept their eyes out for me
And who exactly is a sight for my sore eyes to see
But there’s still no hate and no fiery wraths
For my brothers who wound up choosing opposing paths
Because my brothers are still fam, especially when they need assistance
And I hope one day we can mend the distance
But watching it all happen feels like an atomic bomb
Yet, despite all this,
I’m calm

Yo watup man, hope all is well, where you been son
big city bright lights I was just tryna dim some
no Yum Cha I was layin' low
& when they ask to hang, can't get yourself to be sayin' no
cuz deep down you miss them, but ignorance is bliss
you can't stand them for SIT, you kinda wanna diss them
it's not that you don't want 'em around
it's more like they drifted away without making a sound
& I got too much pride to reach out to a hand
that won't grab mine when I reach, toss & turnin' before I sleep
I think about, how many times this has happened to me
that's why it's funny when they talk as if this is just rappin' to me
sometimes I wonder if I'ma changed man
I mean I know I am but maybe strayed too far off the game plan?
These were people I never intended to lose
But why pull back when they are intending to move?
I've pushed away & been pushed away
no matter how much I pull later it really ain't much to say
effortless conversation turns into awkward silence
internal hatred develops but not to the point of violence
you even miss the arguments cuz at least they cared back then
& then "back then" becomes "way back when" & that's the end
damn....all's well that ends well I guess
no regrets, hope you remember me, at least I'll have the memories

Time

If time is a continuum

Then when the world is over

Does time tick on?

Does it continue to count the seconds

Even when there is nobody?

When there is no action?

When there is nothing?

Will the void at a standstill add to the continuum?

And if the Lord is everywhere,

And he is nonperishable,

And he is,

When we meet him on that day

Will he tell us the time?

And if he does,

Will it even be comprehensible after the sun has burnt out?

Will it turn out that time itself is immeasurable from the mind of a human being?

All questions aside, one thing is clear and one can not deny this:

We are timeless.

My Mind Flows Unusually

The only way to stay sane is to go a little crazy
I found that an evil part of my brain makes me friendly
It draws people closer, and makes me build bonds
Then the bond breaks and I no longer feel so fond
Of the memories and anxieties for caring so much
I don't bruise easily, but I still feel the punch
Of the heartbreak.
But what is heartbreak past the pain?
Another way to show that my ability to love has been slain?
And the only way to revive love is to bring forth a soul
With a heart made of crystal, and maybe a tad bit of coal
But what is my goal?
Is it money, cars, gold chains, clear lanes, connections, and the sense of being protected?
Or is it being surrounded by the things that make us full to our hearts content?
Those things being loved ones, lost ones, and good memories all under the same tent.
Speaking of tents, how long have I been camping?
There is no place like home, but is my home too cramping?
Do I even have a home? Can I count this as one?
Is this life worth living? Can we just start the fun?
Or maybe this is the fun, and from here it's all downhill
And the bottom of this hill is the bill with our own demise
But if it's salvation we achieve, don't we just inherit a prize?
So if a prize is what we get at the time of demise
Can it still be called demise? Should it just be called our surprise?
Because we don't really know where we're headed, do we?
Because we're all to be judged on our worldly doings
And who's to tell us that our worldly doings are just?
Maybe we're all arrogant fools who feel we do what we must
But this where I end for now; my mind has vented enough

Is It Strength?

Is that what it is?


That resilience to keep pushing through despite the anxiety?


The way I gotta laugh a little despite being pissed off at max capacity?


That little burn in my heart that won't let me call it quits?


Or that little strike of patience when I'm at the end of my wits?


The little sun within me that shines when I'm cloudy?


The little chain that holds me back when adrenaline overcomes me?


The force that makes me accept all of my physical flaws?


That thing that lets me eventually tell myself I was wrong?


What makes my heart beat when my life is without song?


The faith that I'll make it through despite the bleeding?


That force that stops the vultures relying on my death for feeding?


Is that what lets me move on in the face of rejection?


Is that what makes me stand head high in objection?


Is that the rope that pulls me along, despite the length?


Is that what this all is? This all is strength?

Disconnected

In the age of computers and Internet connections

You can find a dusty computer lacking direction

He wasn’t connected to wide web or a local area network

He just sat on his own desk with his hard drive at work

He tried to connect to other computers

But the efforts were futile

No system type could comprehend his types of files

So many things this computer wanted to send to the other PC’s

But the world couldn’t get him, 

He had what no other drive sees

Some came pretty close to cracking his codes

And maybe they’re still trying, but as of yet He doesn’t know if they can do it

And it kills him to see these hardware connections turn to fluid

Maybe they can do it. 

Maybe they’ll communicate with him

Or maybe they’ll give up like everyone else

Leaving him disconnected.

She and the Hand

I can't tell if she won't tell


'Cause she couldn't tell, shouldn't tell, or just wouldn't tell


Even if it'd help her


She could go for shelter


But she's too bottled up


To shatter the walls


And make her horizons expand


Hope is far from given up


But the story expands


She's troubled in that bottle


There's a problem brewing within


And it's pretty hard to settle


When one reaches their hand in


To get her out those confines


She sends that hand back empty


And says what goes in won't go outside


And the hand knows it's a nuisance


Because in it keeps reaching


And at times to pull her out


It resorts to beseeching


Because the hand in a nagger that can't respect it's limits


And when it cares for something, the hand attempts to be coherent


So she can shoo the hand within that bottle as the day's spent


Time isn't of the essence; the hand is really patient.

Split-Minded Arguments

These people don't care about us

They only scan our content

And find out what applies to them

Then speak as if we're in a convent

They're footsteps are all over us

When will you get it in our head?

All these "friends" we call our friends 

Are with us to meet all their ends.

So if they're there to meet their ends,

Let's collect our dividends.

Our services are not for free

We halt production to boost theirs

And when we're down, they let us be

But when their down, we're kissing theirs.

So wake up man, before you start to harm me

Take what you call a "friendship" and leave it at the Salvation Army

On the contrary, I feel they do

They care about us more than you

They pushed us up when we were falling

Instead of helping them help us,

You made it hard with all your bawling

All you do is make a fuss

So what if things aren't always peachy?

So what if they call us for favors in the end?

Who else were they to call for?

Isn't that why you call a friend?

Maybe they don't latch for our services.

Maybe those're indirect benefits

Maybe you say that's the way it is,

'Cause you can't grasp the beauty of it.

So don't screw this up for the both of us

'Cause for real man, I've had enough of it.

Cheat To Excellence

Lie and steal and call it a gift

Do you ever feel the shame?

No? I guess we're stuck between the rift

And in the end we are the ones to blame

For our own misfortunes and our own people's misery

Instead of lifting like cranes

We stoop lower than miserly;

Those that took our home

Unaware that the prisons are partitions set up by our domes

And I might not always be alone but I damn sure feel like it

Am I the only one who won't stoop to cheating just so that I won't be bit?

Am I the only one that doesn't tone down my thoughts even a little bit?

We've worn clothes that aren't ours, maybe I don't belong in suits

Because usually those in suits do what suits themselves

And the suits are never taken off, they've never seen the shelves

And now the suit in their hand is way better

They've stolen to be Kings and Queens, and left the rest with Jack sh*t

And their girls are now much wetter

Because that green is such a turn on

But green is what made them turn on

All beliefs and all morality

I get this is a dog-eat-dog world and it's survival of the fittest

Just know the war aint over and now you all are on my hit list

You thought you shot me in my brain and that all thoughts of mine are now dismissed

But you missed, got my heart, and now I'm colder than that ice mist

I'll freeze you where you stand,

I won't let you cheat to excellence.

Aspberger's. M52 and M755 Collab

that was one long season

any other man woulda gave up & with good reason, couldn't blame 'em for leavin'

Fall was longer than Everest is, but I'm stronger than beverages

mixed with the devil's water it's harder but my leverage is

more I've been down before, I mean way down

lowest man wins, son I'm feelin' great now

Hares got too comfortable, got tired of being last

see the Tortoise comin' up fast, see the look on they ass

as I close in my desire is an olympic torch & I carry it

ridin' up on a chariot driven by Secretariat

Seabiscuit & Pegasus, fearless to my nemesis

out for more rings than the mascot of Sega Genesis

seen the concrete jungle I, eat a slice of humble pie

every time I stumble I, get back up you wonder why

cuz there's no better way to feed my appetite

without it I'd prolly wouldn't be rappin' right

too overconfident with my talent amount

so I OD on humble pie to balance it out

without a doubt I plan to get riches

that's what happens when you the son of the hardest workin' man in the business

so I don't plan to get bitches granted I can but dismiss it

to most, I don't expect you to understand this decision

I swear my flow seems to expand when it's colder

put my fam on, carry Atlas HIMSELF on my shoulders

it's been hard I won't lie

but the only thing worse than losing, is being afraid to lose AKA you don't try

here comes a cold winter, nothin' to a born winner

all I ask for is forgiveness for a born sinner

& I pray that you send all my people above

this life is nothing without the people I love

we're a movement....trust me they can't stop it

for the haters, I keep a mistletoe in my back pocket................

Just stepped out of class; Professor told me he's hoping I fail

My future success will blind him; I hope he knows how to read braille

And no im not the best student but im surely the best learner

If the world's facts were the sheep you must call me the herder

Sitting in the world's largest prison and I just dropped the soap

Didn't need to pick it up. The rapists? I'll show them the ropes

Experience from raping attempts to put me down by those who hated me

I forgot all the faces of the many people that berated me

Realized if I excel to spite them I'd be living to impress them

So instead of impressing them all I strive to do is repress them

And try not to get too pissed off, because that's just when they'll win

And avoid giving an answer when they ask just where I've been

Die alone, live alone, with the exception of a few

And those few can view my life as it happens; no rear view

This life has got no air bags, you're either alive or turning to ashes

And I've gone in full throttle; tryna be a master like Ash is

And I don't know how you can't CBS, but I'll Big Bang your Theory

That I should be ignored, and I hope that answers your query

of whether I can hold my own or bow down and go fetch a bone

Thrown by any oppressors that think theyre sitting on a throne.

They should know they're sitting on a time bomb

Coming straight from the place that I'm from

And when it's done ticking I'll be right there ready for murder

I sound funny but dead serious; something like Aspbergers.........................